Come from: Melbourne, Australia
Now live in: Stockholm, Sweden
With: Partner and our two children
First came to Sweden in: December 1990
At the age of: 21-22
Because: of Swedish boyfriend
Have been here all up: almost 20 years
Stayed because: I wasn’t ready to move home after the split and now enjoy life here too much to leave, for now.
Go home every: 1-2 years.
Longest time at home: 3 years in early 90s, otherwise usually 6 weeks.

Language
How’s your Swedish? Totallty fluent.
How did you learn? SFI and then working in a shop, speaking to staff and customers.
How long did it take? 6 months.
What advice would you give to newcomers with regards to learning the language? Prioritise learning Swedish, focus on it and be determined. Only when you speak their language can you truly get to know people and live a fairly normal life.

A Daily Living
How do you make a living in Sweden?
Own business, relocation consultant and cross-cultural communication training.

Describe some of the differences in the work culture compared to what you would expect in your own country.
As a trainer you should not assume you know best and have the right to decide what is best for the group. The Swedes like to make their own decisions.

How did you get your very first job?
Contacts - knew someone who ran a shop and asked if I could have a job - cleaning, stacking shelves, doing anything at all.

What language/s do you use at work?
Swedish & English

What advice would you give to newcomers looking for work?
Network, talk to people, use contacts, knock on doors, get out there any way you can. Be gutsy and take a chance.

Socially Speaking
Describe your social network – is it mostly Swedish, mostly foreigners, a 50/50 mix?  
All our friends have a foreign connection - even our most Swedish, Swedish friends. They are mostly made up of mixed families where one partner is Swedish, the other is a foreigner or they have a parent from another countrie or living in another country.

How do you know the people you socialise with?
Work, on-line communities and networks and through the kids - daycare etc.

What do you find different with the Swedes and your social life compared to what you would expect if you had stayed at home.
There is not the spontaneity unless you know people really well and it takes a long time to get to know people. Generally the steps go very, very slowly and it is not common to invite people over you have just met or just seen a few times. It is hard to make friends with Swedes but once you do make friends though you have them for life. It is much, much easier once you have children.

How do you spend your spare time?
Biking in the summer, generally just being outdoors, picnicing etc. I love to go to celebrate the seasons, find out what is happening around town and get out and enjoy being in Stockholm. In the winter we like to skate and play in the snow, the puddles or the leaves. Having kids teaches you to be out as much as possible no matter what the weather.

The Future
Do you have a plan for the future in terms of where you will live? Long/Short term.
No plan but no intention of going anywhere. Our daughter is about to start school and at the moment we are happy here.

The Impact Of Living In Sweden
What are the positive and negative aspects of living in Sweden?
My social life is both richer and poorer for living here. I meet a fantastic variety of people but I am much less social that I think I would be at "home". I never really know exactly what is appropriate with the Swedes and I am so much more likely to hesitate to ring someone up and way "Hi, want to get together?"
Professionally I am also both limited and have opportunities. Everything feels so much harder, a lot of that is to do with the language. You just never feel as skillful or as professional in a second language. I have not had a smooth path that I have etched out for myself but always had a kind of "what can I do here" feeling and looked for possible opportunities.

What opportunities do you feel you have gained and/or lost from living here.
Learing a second language is the most valuable. I remember sitting at a concert many, many years ago and thinking - what a privilege it is to be able to sit in another country at a live performance and understand everything going on around me.
Living here also gives me the freedom to be who I am. I am not bound by cultural norms, family expectations or peer pressure. I am totally free to be who I am and live the kind of life I want to - everyone knows I'm "different" and doesn't expect anything else of me. I don't have to fit in in any way.

Do you feel that living in Sweden has changed you?
Totally. For good and bad. I've become much more socially inhibited. My values have also changed. My attitudes towards child-rearing, the environment, how I spend my spare time, commercialism (lot less in Sweden), and many other things have changed over the years. Living here has also strengthen how I already felt about many things too - such as equality of women, green spaces and city living.

Do you have any other tips for our readers about living in Sweden?
Moving to another country should not be under-estimated. It is a massive challenge and continues to be possibly for the rest of your life. Once you have experienced a different way of doing things you may never be satisfied - somewhere in-between will always be the preferred option.

It is worth reading anything you can get your hands on that explains the people you have surrounded yourself with. It is amazing how much background information can help us feel more patience and understanding of the differences we face.

I think most of us go through a series of stages that include 1) rejection of the new country and culture where we just don't cope with anyting and criticise everything, as well as 2) absorbtion where we find ourselves living a totally Swedish life, and 3) some kind of balance where we pick and choose from the new country and culture and we balance it with our old ways and people who remind us of the life we once had and there person we are at heart. It is when we are at the third stage that we are at peace with our "new" life.